Early Stage of Dementia Through The Caregiver's Eyes

If you are a dementia caregiver and you've told yourself, "It's really just forgetfulness", you are not alone. Those who are dealing with the mild or first stages of dementia in a loved one can find themselves in denial very easily.  That feeling along with a number of others are very common in caregivers of persons in the early stages of dementia.

You probably remember that the early or mild stage of dementia brings problems in the areas of cognition, function and mood or behavior.  Here are some of the symptoms you may be seeing in your loved one in the early stages:  problems with recall of events, calculation or judgment abilities, some word finding issues, difficulty dealing with work, housekeeping, finances, shopping or general planning, anxiety, frustration, fear, depression and social withdrawal. 

As the caregiver of a person in the early stages of dementia, you may be feeling concerned, frustrated, uninformed and questioning a number of things:

• "What should I do about his/her driving"?
• "Do I have to take over every single thing"?
• "Is it really dementia or just normal aging"?

Each case of dementia presents unique problems to both the person with dementia and the caregiver yet there are some things that may help you cope as a caregiver:

• Seek out psychological support and/or join a support group
• Obtain a geriatric assessment for your loved one, which will include some education on what to expect
• Schedule a driving test for your loved one if appropriate (see your state motor vehicle division for availability)
• Explore options for day care or other caregiving relief
• Meet with a financial advisor

Can anyone who is a dementia caregiver facing the early stages of the disease with a loved one offer any other tips that helped them at that stage?

Next time we'll discuss the impact on dementia caregivers of the middle or moderate stage of dementia.

Comments

[Heidi Neuer]

I have a niehbor who I am trying to help with multi-infarc dementia and am getting tired the family lives on opposite sides of the country and no one is stepping in to help for whatever reason. They are under the impression "oh she just needs a little house cleaning" but we are doing everything and even though we have asked the family to come home no one is coming till august. My question is there some great info I could send them to make an impact on how serious the situation is.

[Sue]

Heidi: A good starting place for lots of info on dementia is the Alzheimer's Association website at www.alz.org. You can print out information and send them to the family.

Lack of education on the seriousness of the dementia process is so common, especially for family members who aren't nearby.

You are doing a very good thing by being involved and concerned for your neighbor.

Good luck with the situation and thanks for writing.

Sue

[Judith]

Getting a full evaluation at a university dementia clinic was a lifesaver. Confirming the diagnosis so thoroughly helped me release the guilt I felt about the way I was helping my father. It also resolved my ambivalence about helping him - realizing I was NOT overreacting and was in fact acting appropriately. Lastly, it helped me realize he was in denial and could not be a fully effective partner in his own care.

[Sue]

Judith: Your experience is right on the money.

So many dementia caregivers don't realize how much of their own emotions are tied up in the in between stages until a tentative diagnosis is made. Besides the evaluation helping the person with dementia, you as the caregiver get tremendous validation for your own thoughts throughout the process.

Yes, the person may stay in denial about their own issues, continuing to make caregiving a great challenge.

Thanks for writing and explaining this so well.

Sue

[Liz]

What protection, if any, is available for caregivers against being wrongly accused of neglect or mistreating their family members who are in the early stages of dementia and in denial? My husband and I are the primary caregivers to my mother who is very difficult due to a non-acceptance of her limitations and is proving to be a danger to herself. I have heard some unsettling stories of caregivers being accused of abuse by their family members and charged with such. I am concerned because my mother often misrepresents her situation to others and has a tendency to cast us in a bad light. I want to help her, but who has our back??